Dr. Bronner’s. World’s number 1 awesome soap, by factors of smell (the peppermint, tea tree oil, and eucalyptus varietals are DIVINE), environment-friendly (Certified fair trade! No foaming agents!), and of course, their unique marketing campaign. Long have I used Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap for my travels – it’s biodegradable and makes you smell great, need I say more? And long had I admired the retro-style label. Until I read it. And then I  admired it more.

Excerpt from label on bottle of “DR. BRONNER’S MAGIC SOAPS, 18-IN-1 HEMP PEPPERMINT PURE-CASTILLE SOAP MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS”

“Enjoy only 2 cosmetics, enough sleep & Dr. Bronner’s ‘Magic Soap’ to clean body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! All-One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness!”

“Breathe deeply! Health is Wealth! Within 9 minutes you feel fresh and clean, saving 90% of your hot water and soap, ready to help teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith! For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE!”

“‘Knowing the full truth that unites the human race & not teaching all is deathly guilt!’, learned carpenter Jesus from Mason Rabbi Hillel! … As Mao wrote in Redbook 51: ‘Marxist-Communism, once in power, is utterly unworkable, has less value than cowdung. Its power is the gun!’ … As teaches African-shepherd Astronomer Israel for 6000 years, “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” For on God’s Spaceship Earth, with Bomb & Gun, we’re All-One or none! All-One! All-One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!”

“Each day, like a bird, perfect thyself first, to have courage & smile my friend! Think & act 10 years ahead! And the man without fault? He’s dead! Do one thing at a time! Work hard! Get done! Then teach friend & enemy ‘How to Work & How to Love’ for God is love, uniting All-One above in God’s Eternal All-One-God-Faith!”

Did Dr. Bronner include “hella-innovational cross-promotion instruction” in the “18-in-1” promise, or are those startling yet shockingly uplifting messages just a bonus? I really need to rethink the marketing strategy for the soap line I’m coming out with. Because I sure can’t compete with this gem.

Great soap! Fascinating reading! Buy it today! Visit www.drbronner.com for more intriguing information.