Monthly Archives: January 2012

Hello there. I moved to Costa Rica. It’s great. You can follow my story here: http://storify.com. Here is a poem with which I want to leave you to tide you over until I return, if ever. It is by my dear friend Erin Taylor. Thank you, Erin.

“Winter”

Winter is a time for dreaming.

Everything is still, but if I stop

moving I’m afraid I’ll

stop altogether.

So some part of me

has to keep going

always.

My mind won’t leave me alone.

No sleep

no rest from my dreams and nightmares of what could be.

It looks around, scrutinizes,

pulls apart every detail.

Nothing satisfies.

Nothing is as it should be.

Nothing feels wonderful

in winter.

My mind says to my body

you are still and cold,

get moving!

Go away from this place

it’s holding you back.

My mind says to my hands,

you are idle and chapped.

Make more

poetry

more music

more production.

Make!

My mind says to my eyes

you are tired and droopy.

Dance more!

Read, learn, progress.

My mind say to my mouth

stop kissing so much!

My whole being is wrecked by conflict.

And from outside, my ears

hear more bad news.

My eyes see so few

people out on the streets

and my hands shake few

others. They hide in my warmish pockets

like everyone else.

My mind, meanwhile, whirls

close to oblivion.

It says this is fine and fine is

not enough. Everything has to

change. Go go go

keep moving

never stop never hibernate winter

is not for you you must

maintain the kinetic

heat that flows and pulses

and makes

you alive.

A small voice asks

why?

Don’t the plants die back in winter?

Doesn’t the maple sap settle into the roots?

Doesn’t the bear hibernate with her cubs?

Don’t the ponds freeze?

Doesn’t the sun, even the great

hot blazing sun

hide from us?

The small voice says

my feet hurt from walking.

My throat is raw from speaking.

My hands are chapped from use.

My eyes ache from being awake too long.

Perhaps it’s okay to be still

for a while.

To be kissed

close my eyes

rest my hands.

And many parties nod their agreement.

The hands fold.

The eyes close.

The lips part.

But then the mind warms

(more softly this time)

be careful.

You are not a maple tree,

reserving sugar until the ice melts.

You are not the mama bear

protecting her babies from the cold.

You are not the sun, turning away

from some of her children for a while

only to tend to others.

You are only you.

Who will rouse you in the spring?

If you don’t at least dream

at least plant at least hope

all winter

you risk getting stuck.

You wouldn’t want that, now

would you?

A Snowy Adventure with Jimmy Vogel

Dreams. I’ve been having nightmares recently: gory ones – truly, impressively horrific story lines that I didn’t know lived inside me. How interesting that our brains work so diligently and mysteriously at night while our bodies sleep. Can that creativity be harnessed?

Aurora Borealis over Yellowknife, Canada. Photo courtesy of National Geographic

Read more about dreams, sleep, and the effect they have on mental health and psychiatry here. www.clevelandsleeps.com

On January 26th, 2012, Katie Vogel moves to Costa Rica for two months to learn how to be an aquatic sports (surfing, whitewater rafting, SCUBA) leader with Outward Bound. She is very excited. However, as you may have suspected, she is not bringing the internet with her to Costa Rica.

What does this mean! Well.

1) It means you have only 1.5 more weeks to buy a limerick from her. Like Beanie Babies, these limericks will only increase in value over time, so, like Beanie Babies, you should by as many of them as you can, preferably the overpriced ones so that you can show them off to your friends then put them away in a box to gather dust. The many customers served with limericks so far have boasted of bringing them into work to share with co-workers, sharing them with family members, even getting a tattoo of one on their ankle (one of those three accounts is fictional – you decide).

2) Katie needs friendship tokens to bring to Costa Rica with her so she doesn’t get too lonely in the jungle! And also the PO Box really is not getting enough use! That means you should mail her (Kathryn Vogel, PO Box 381, Circle Pines, MN 55014) a small card or temporary tattoo that she can bring with her to Costa Rica. The most awesome temporary tattoo/card she gets will be posted to this website before she leaves.

A lesson in how you apply a temporary tattoo from the Tufts Dance Collective

So contact her now! Or forever hold your peace (until April when Katie Vogel returns). Email Katie at kvogel.esq@gmail.com, Tweet her @vogelian, or send her a mail at Kathryn Vogel, PO Box 381, Circle Pines, MN 55014.

Limericks and temporary tattoos – what fun!

Katie plans on having this much fun in Costa Rica.

Yes it’s here! A sneak peek of the Flying Canoe Movie a week before it premiers. Aaron Birr and Katie Vogel embark on their 21-day, 300-mile canoe expedition through the headwaters of the Mississippi River in Minnesota.

Twilight on the Mississippi River - Aaron relaxes in the hammock after a storm.

Yeah. Sharks.

They’re still cool. They’re still badass. They’re still sharks.

Check out this gallery of “Eden for Sharks” at National Geographic.

Click here: Eden for Sharks

It is good to have friends. It is extra good when said friends are fantastical, whimsical, theatrical, philosophical and creative in every way. I consider myself lucky on many accounts, but mostly because I have fantastical friends. I am pleased to share with the Bureau two works of art from two of my friends. Enjoy.

Art 1) From Abbey Holt, whimsical machine engineer. She built this Rube machine for Target.

Art 2) From Dr. Clifford E. Knapp: writer, naturalist, outdoor teacher extraordinaire (click here for more about Cliff, click here to check out his amazing book, Sourcebook of Experiential Education). Click here to read a lovely, lovely poem written by Dr. Knapp, entitled: “I Am Where I’ve Been”. Snippet:

“Now I linger longer listening to hidden forest singers. I see more clearly where I gazed blindly before.”

To be in Nature is very exciting.

Magic Limerick Tunnel (or Dry Tortugas fortress hall, photo snapped by yours truly in 2010)

“There was a young rustic named Mallory, who drew but a very small salary. When he went to a show, his purse made him go to a seat in the uppermost gallery. Tune, wont you come to Limerick.”

-St John Daily News (New Brunswick), 30 Nov. 1880.

Ah, the limerick. That sultry, nonsensical stanza of silliness that we have all come to know and love. It has been a great joy to provide so many happy customers with limericks that have enhanced their lives by about 5,000% for the low, low price of just $4, and I am enthused to continue to write these hilarious gems. I have been impressed by the large volume of limericks requested (over 300 limericks sold already!), yet an unanswered challenge lies in waiting for the brave soul who attempts to surmount it. I am curious to see who the champion is that will take on what is possibly the greatest feat of 2012: purchasing the Unlimited Limericks for Life plan.

While it is perfectly fine to buy just one limerick for $4, or perhaps get the best deal in the world by getting 3 limericks for $10, I think it would be rather grand if some limerick lover (or lover of donating to good causes like adventure education or themoth.org because 5% of all limerick proceeds go to that charitable organization and 100% of limerick proceeds go to fostering good will on this planet) captures the Holy Grail of limerick legends, that which is the Unlimited Limericks for Life plan (a plan that means you can summon limericks from me for your entire life or until you get limerick overload and never want to see one again! And you also get perks like I throw in a Haiku every once in awhile). The Limericks for Life plan is great because think about it: you relinquish 1,000 of your dollars just once, and in return you get more than ONE MILLION laughs over the course of a lifetime (remember – you get about 3,000 laughs per limerick). I’m no mathematical wizard but GADZOOKS that seems like a good deal!

I snapped a picture of this bench in the Dry Tortugas in the Caribbean Sea. Geographically it is unrelated to limericks (fabled to be of Irish origin), but it does seem to bear some mystical power, much like the legendary limerick.

I am SO curious about the first buyer of this plan that – on top of the unlimited limericks for life which is the best thing ever already – I will also be awarding them the Limerick Medal of Honor, which has never been given out in the history of the world, so that’s a pretty big deal. This buyer can choose to remain anonymous, which is respectable, or they can come forth and have all the glory and get their picture taken with me and the Limerick Medal.

And so the gauntlet is set! The choice is yours: go down in history as a purchaser of one limerick (which is actually a GREAT option and I recommend it for most of you out there because one limerick goes a long way towards laughter and Costa Rica!), or go down in limerick history as the most epic limerick legend person in the universe. WHICH PATH WILL YOU CHOOSE.

Learn more about limerick origins and history here. Participate in this fantastical limerick challenge by mailing $1,000 here: Kathryn Vogel, PO Box 381, Circle Pines, MN 55014. Or hold off on the Unlimited Plan (which seems silly, given that it’s such a great deal, but whatever) and get a bargain of a $4 personalized limerick by emailing kvogel.esq@gmail, tweeting @vogelian, or mailing to the PO Box above. And a Very Merry Vogel to you!

A wonderful thing happened today and it was this: I am in the newspaper because of my limericks and Flying Canoe and general adventures! This is very exciting. The article by Mr. Nicholas Backus is simply a pleasure to read because he is an excellent writer and I am a fascinating subject. Enjoy it by clicking this link:

www.“An Adventure of Vogelian Proportions”.com

The Flying Canoe waits by the Mississippi River near Lake Itasca.

Mysterious trees formed from rivers in the Mexican desert.

See some great photos:

National Geographic Best of December Gallery

Then gander at this gem I snapped overlooking the town of Alesund, Norway in 2007.

Alesund in August

In accordance with my New Year’s Resolution #3, “Switch from regular-fat mayo to low-fat mayo and from sugar-free syrup to sugar-full syrup,” I went grocery shopping and got some foods with a variety of fat and sugar. I am happy to report that in 2012 you can actually buy food that tastes good and is healthy too. I think you could  do this in 2011 too, just not that many people knew about it. Here is a list of items I just bought in case you want to have some good food:

• Hummus. Athenos brand, original and spicy three pepper. Tasty and made with 100% olive oil.

Athenos has a surprisingly beautiful and interactive website. http://www.athenos.com

• Soymilk. Silk, light vanilla. In a pretty blue carton and good for people with testy stomachs.
• PopCorners “New Shape of Popcorn” Popped Corn Chips, Sea Salt flavor. I have not tried these yet but they are “all natural” and “Gluten free” so they must be good.
• Salsa. It’s like tomatoes but better.
• Chips. Good with salsa.
• Dino Buddies Chicken Breast Nuggets (frozen). Heat 3 of these guys in the microwave in a minute for a tasty appetizer at any time of day. They have a surprisingly low fat and calorie count for a nugget-shaped snack, and they are full of protein. They are so tasty and delicious I even forgive the fact that they are made by a company entitled “Yummy,” which is a word that should be removed from all dictionaries and not be uttered by any human over the age of 5.

Good and not the worst thing you could eat.

• Waffles, frozen, blueberry and original. Pop these in the toaster for an amazing breakfast (I recommend sugar syrup as an accoutrement) or as the bread for your waffles and chicken nugget sandwich, a varietal of the famous southern meal, “waffles and chicken.”
• Carrots, baby, orange. Apparently these are very good for your health.
• Sugar Snap peas, green. Also delicious and good for your health.

Natural, appetizing, vegetables.

• Chocolate chip cookie dough, Pillsbury, in a tube. Put out a platter of baked cookie dough (cookies) and a platter of vegetables + hummus and you have yourself a delicious and colorful party snack tray.
• Nuts, planters, almonds and some healthy antioxidant mix. Kind of like trail mix and has that awesome nut guy on the can. Also good party tray food.

Nuts.

• Fresca, peach, in cans. That’s just tasty and if you don’t drink too much of it your teeth won’t even rot.
• Vitamin water, in bottles, red and pink. It tastes ok and has no calories.

Pretty colored and not horrible tasting.

That is the list! Keep in mind that some of this stuff is way more expensive than I thought it would be and next week I’ll probably just buy Jif peanut butter and Wonder Bread. But it’s nice to buy food that I actually like every once in awhile. Also consider that little to none of these foods were produced in Minnesota, where I bought the food, and that it is more fun to buy local products because you can brag about it and you’re saving a lot of world energy because it didn’t have to be shipped. If you have anything positive or negative or horrifying (I once found an entire dead rat in an Uncle Ben’s rice packet and I don’t buy that anymore) to say about these foods please let me know. Happy eating, happy 2012.